The four-stage process of being tamed by your lover is worth reading

2022-07-11 0 By

We all want happiness and sweetness, not pain and anxiety, in love.However, many people are in “unhappy” relationships that they know are painful but can’t quit.Are you experiencing the cold violence of a lover, waiting for a message that goes unanswered for a long time?Are you getting lost in your partner’s uncertain attitude and feeling down in the dumps?You become less and less confident, more and more sensitive, even hysterical.You wonder: Am I really such a bad partner?Actually, it’s not your fault.Maybe you’re being emotionally abused by your lover.Be aware that neuroticism, irrationality and hysteria are not a normal state of being.Only in an abnormal state of mind can “unreasonable” behavior occur.Remember, did your partner give you those ratings?You are graceful, confident, and graceful in front of others.Only in front of that person, you humble like dust, can only desperately to please ta, in exchange for a little happy chips.Lovers treat you well, you have a happy day;When your lover ignores you, you are unhappy.All your happiness depends on how that person treats you.If you are in a painful relationship, you need to be aware that you are being manipulated by an emotional abuser.Because it’s not a normal relationship, it’s a twisted relationship.But, as a stranger, what you think of as “love” is actually your fantasy.This person acts as the “abuser” in your relationship;You, on the other hand, use the “lover filter” to amplify their good qualities, convince yourself to accept them and justify their abusive behavior.But do you know how you have been tamed step by step?In the idealization stage, this lover will dote on you and flatter their “prey.”Maybe you don’t like them very much at first, keep a decent distance, it looks like they are chasing you and admiring you, but in fact this is only the first step to their gaining your favor.Under their adulation, you feel confident, irresistible, more present than you’ve ever felt before, and happy and loving.This feeling is like a poison that slowly eats away at your will, making you addicted and obsessed.Lovers do what they want. They seem to have everything you want in an ideal partner, all the qualities of an ideal partner.Greetings on time every day, always pay attention to your dynamic, care about all your small details, but also give you surprise and commitment.However, this kind of happiness won’t last long because it’s just the beginning of your relationship.If you label someone an “ideal partner” because they treat you well, it’s premature.The following days may make you doubt the relationship;More seriously, you’ll start doubting and belittling yourself.At this stage, usually one to three months into the relationship, the once “perfect lover” begins to drift off.Their genius is that they don’t go cold all of a sudden, but gradually, bit by bit.They can do clever things to make you feel more and more dependent on them, such as making you anxiously wait for a response that frustrates your expectations, or making you feel jealous and miserable by making you look desirable.You will not be able to detect these subtle changes, but will see them as evidence of your growing love.The number of times that you desire to be dissatisfied increases, but you still can have inner small proud jiao, begin to deal with partner’s neglect with small temper, small capricious then.Companion is not to ignore you at the beginning, but after you are angry, and then coax you, let you regain the power of love.But then, a few days later, they’ll start snubbing you and giving you the cold shoulder, and you’ll start having mood swings and tantrums and affection again.Stage 3: You get hysterical and become the go-to person. The more you argue, the more your relationship changes.The person who put you on a pedestal becomes more and more silent and ignores all your emotions.That’s one thing you can’t take in. It’s not good to fall from heaven to hell.And that’s when the emotional abuser really starts abusing.They seem to be able not to be affected by your actions, but to act as a spectator, watching your every move and throwing a “ammunition” to stimulate you.In other words, whether you’re angry or sad, for them, it’s like watching a play.They do. You can be happy or miserable.More abominable is, some “affection is abused person” can use your jealous heart, make with others ambiguous phenomenon painstakingly.They seem to relish the feeling of being jealous to feed their cheap vanity.In fact, when they interact with the opposite sex, they expect you to react.But their purpose is to make you miserable, and watching you fall into the dust will make them feel superior.So, you become hysterical, become unreasonable, and all of these, step by step, they lead you into trouble.Instead, you become the one your partner calls “unreasonable.”In fact, others may not understand you and think you are “too clever”.And you, at a loss, become no longer confident, doubt their own charm, even to please each other, cater to each other, put all the focus on that person.Finally, the abuser doesn’t have to do anything but ignore you to break you down.Yeah, in the end they’re not giving you anything, they’re just giving you emotions.They have destroyed your self-esteem and your sense of self-worth.And they use their strongest weapon — silence.You will torment yourself in their silence, completely missing the opportunity to leave and do the rest of the emotional sadism for them.That person doesn’t have to do anything but leave you alone with your thoughts.Or, out of the blue, they’ll put subtle things on social media to goad you into thinking even more.Poor you, you can only tears into a state of depression, unable to extricate yourself.You think it’s how much you love them, how much you can’t live without them, or even how good they are that they eat you to death.Maybe you send a lot of text messages from your heart about how much you miss them, but they just coldly read your desperate messages and never respond.At this point, the “emotional abuser” doesn’t care to hide their abuse, but to humiliate you.During this process, you get a vague sense that the person wants you to dump him, that he will do his best to make you sad and hurt, and that he has lost interest in the relationship.However, instead of saying so, they blame you — your indecisionsruined the relationship.Write at the end: Review the relationship and you’ll see that the person didn’t contribute anything substantive to the relationship — aside from the empty compliments and adulation that initially served to disguise their sadistic intentions.Idealized processes are just tools they use to control you.The only thing left in your relationship is pain, confusion and confusion.Silence, is an extremely cruel mental abuse, its essence is to drive you against your own thinking, is also the most powerful weapon to kill a person’s self-esteem.But, you know, it’s not you, it’s not that you’ve lost your good qualities, it’s that the other person’s behavior has created an “abnormal” state of mind in you.While we shouldn’t think too badly of others, in reality, too many people are manipulated by “emotional abusers,” or puAs.They are in a painful dead end, unable to get out of it, unable to forget it, unable to let go, torturing their body and soul.The purpose of writing these words is for the person experiencing pain to see how “tamed” they are, and to see the relationship from the perspective of an outsider.Remember, you can no longer power the “abuser”!In the following articles, the author will analyze the “healing road” how to go, if you have emotional problems, welcome to leave a message or private message to me.We need sanity as well as direction.